Pub. 6 2017 Issue 1

l e a d i n g a d v o c a t e f o r t h e b a n k i n g i n d u s t r y i n k a n s a s 10 If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don’t want to be. -Dale Carnegie I ALWAYS SMILE WHEN ONE OF THE EMPLOYEES I’m coaching says a phrase that has become quite familiar to me: “You were in my head.” What the employee is typically alluding to is that I had been working with the coachee—in the week prior—on strategies for being less harsh in their demeanor; for being a better listener; for being more considerate of coworkers; or for handling difficult workplace conversations with greater skill and tact. The employee typically goes on to explain that, during their week’s interactions with others at work, they kept thinking of things I had said during the last coaching session, and it impacted the way they handled those interactions. “You were in my head the whole time I was meeting with him,” they’ll say. And I smile. Typically, the coachee reports positive outcomes from their new “Brenda in my head” approach, and we celebrate the fact that, while it’s somewhat annoying to have my voice talking in your head throughout your work week, it can produce some genuine growth and positive outcomes for you as an individual and as a professional. I share this thought on a Sunday evening at the start of a new week because I think each of us can benefit from asking ourselves a similar question: “Who will be in my head throughout most of this week?” That might sound like a funny question, but I have found that if I want to continue to grow into the person I truly want to be and to live with joy, peace, and vibrancy, I need to pay attention to what’s going on in my head. If I want to be a difficult, down, complaining, and energy-less person, I will think thoughts such as these: • Nothing ever goes my way. • My life sucks. • People are out to get me. • There are no good people left in this world. • I’m a disappointment to everyone around me. • I’d like to make changes in my life, but I’d never be able to. • My life is what it is, and there is nothing I can do to change that. However, if I want to grow into the person I truly want to be, I will, purposely, think thoughts such as these: • I am grateful for the multitude of blessings in my life. • I’m going to do my best today to impact people in positive ways and to make their day better. • Today is a new day, and I can choose who I want to be. I am capable of making positive changes. • These are the traits that I want to live out today (for example, be loving; caring; positive; encouraging; hardworking; loyal; supportive; a person of integrity. • I’ve made mistakes in my past, but who hasn’t? I will use the mistakes and disappointments from my past to propel me forward to new callings and purposes in my life. • It doesn’t matter what others have said about me. I will create myself, starting today, to be the person of worth and integrity that I choose to be. And I will use the mistakes from my past to compassionately help others who have gone through similar struggles. • I am a person of worth and value, and I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. From my experience, I find that once I get these thoughts (the second group) in my head, life becomes a daily, fully alive challenge to be the best version of myself possible, where I impact others in the most positive of ways in a way that only I can because I am a unique person with an individual calling on my life. I’d ask each of us to think this evening as we start a new week about who and what we are going to allow to get “in our head” in the coming week. I’d strongly encourage you to make whatever voice you allow in to be one inspiring you to grow and to come up higher, to enjoy the vibrancy and peace that comes with reaching for our own individual, immense potential in life. Brenda Clark Hamilton, MA Ed., is an engaging workplace trainer, leadership retreat facilitator, and nationally recognized conference speaker in the areas of leadership, communication, teamwork, change management, emotional intelligence, and maximizing one’s personal and professional excellence. She will be a featured speaker at the 2017 Tri-state Leadership and HR Conference to be held March 28-29 in Overland Park, sponsored by the Kansas, Nebraska and Missouri Bankers Associations. Brenda launched her speaking business in the fall of 2005 by mailing brochures to businesses in her north- ern Iowa community and offering workplace training. In the last few years, Brenda has spoken at hundreds of events in seventeen states. She is consistently praised by audiences and meeting planners alike for her skill at providing practical, take-home strategies in a highly engaging, down-to-earth, and humorous way. This article originally appeared at www.facebook.com/ BrendaClarkHamilton. WHO WILL BE IN YOUR HEAD THIS WEEK? By Brenda Clark Hamilton, MA Ed.,